November 1, 2008

The Wasteland (41 Days)

Well, I guess I've let the blog lapse a little over the past few days, though this morning I figured out why when my playtime came up next to my save on Fallout 3. Apparently I've played the game for 18+ hours, which is pretty remarkable considering I got it on Tuesday. Actually, to be perfectly honest, I don't think it would be that remarkable if I wasn't at the Guildhall, which is pretty much how the number got to be that way. I've been pretty much maintaining a sort of "normal" work schedule the past few days. You know, the whole 9 to 5 thing. I think it's done wonders for my mental health, but I'm not sure about the effect it may be having on my current projects, most notably my DFS.

I've been throwing all my weight into my Thesis the last couple weeks, and with that I have managed to get all my testing done and all the objective data entered into a form that I can easily analyze. In addition, I've been trying to keep up a manageable level with my job search, about 5 applications a week, plus any other follow ups and networking. I might be able to increase that a bit now that I'm not spending 3+ hours a day doing testing, but that really depends on my other major project, my DFS. Basically, even though my level was done enough to test it for my thesis, there's still plenty I need to do in order to consider it "portfolio quality."

It's funny, I've typed this paragraph about five times now, but I keep changing it because it keeps coming out too negative. I think I'm a little stressed at this point and it comes across as a bad attitude. I mean, we've got the job fair this week, but we still haven't heard who if anyone is interested in even talking to us. Admittedly this is because our placement director is still hard at work scheduling new interviews, so it's not a complaint just something worrysome. I haven't done much on my DFS the last couple weeks because I've been focused on my thesis, so I am worried about that upcoming milestone. Finally, I think there are just some long term effects of this place. The high stress and long hours just eventually take their toll and you have to start letting go before it consumes you.

It's weird, as I write, I find myself very introspective, so as I try to find the right words I keep realizing certain things I don't think I've consciously thought about before. I mean, probably about a year ago, I felt like the best thing to do was just to work all the time and get everything as good as I could with the time I had, but now I feel like it's more important to try and stay happy and positive and do what I can with the time available. I'm not really sure what that means. I'm not sure if it is some revelation about life in general. That ultimately I would rather by happy than great (if I couldn't be both of course). Maybe it's just the realization of someone who is mentally worn out and needs a real break. Not one where he is working. Not one where he is "between projects" or "getting organized," but a real break, a real chance to let things go for just a little bit.

Sorry, this post has been all over the place. I guess I'm just in a strange place right now. Blame it on a lot of Fallout 3, sickness, and a healthy dose of prescription strength medicine for said sickness. What I can say is, Fallout 3 is awesome, probably my favorite game of the year if not the last few years (time will tell how the main storyline actually develops). If you like Oblivion or Fallout I'd definitely check it out, and just generally I think the game is pretty amazing in its own right. It's immersive, it's engaging, and above all it's fun. It's kept me up at night, and away from my homework on a few occasions, which is probably both a blessing and a curse. I also picked up Little Big Planet this week, but I haven't spent very much time playing with it. It seems like a cool little game, and the concept of an infinite number of platforming adventures is an exciting one (not to mention the opportunity to create some of my own).

Anyway, it hasn't really been a long week, but it's been a long program, so I'm gonna see if I can milk that for a little more time off ;-). Hey, at least I get a bonus hour tonight! Woo, daylight savings! Sorry for the random, rambling post, hopefully when I am finally cured of the C9 plague pt. 2 my posts will start making sense again.

No promises...

1 comment:

  1. I also picked up LittleBigPlanet this weekend. We should play whenever they get around to patching in online co-op. :P