March 31, 2008

Serenity (Prayer)

God grant me the strength to change the things I can,
The patience to accept the things I cannot change,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

While I haven't exactly been the most devout Christian as of late (another Guildhall sacrifice, though not without significant blame cast on myself), I find thinking about this does, in fact, help me to find serenity. There are always things we want to change, many things that we wish could be different, but ultimately very, very little of our lives are actually in our own control. Take my level design midterm for example. We just found out we are supposed to have one of our rooms for our DFS completely finished by Friday for our DFS.

There are a number of requirements attached to the assignment, but basically we need to take one part of our DFS and polish it to final quality in the next four days, while at the same time, of course, we have a DFS milestone tomorrow as well as an Ethics assignment due Friday. Not to mention, I have a meeting with the head of the MIT program to start talking about thesis proposals Friday during lunch. Needless to say, many to the LDs were dismayed by the news of this assignment and immediately began to become upset at it. Well, that and the grades from the speedmaps last Friday. By and large though, it isn't really phasing me. I mean, I know it's gonna be crappy in some places, sure, but as I said earlier, I've sort of reached the acceptance phase of my grief and now I'm trying to move past it all.

It can be hard though. There are a lot of frustrated, jaded people among the C9 level designers right now, and I'm not sure that's a situation that's going to change anytime soon. Maybe, the transition I went through is something everyone has to go through and I was just lucky enough to experience it early. I don't really know, I hope that's true, I hope my friends start feeling better about things, and I'll do whatever I can to help, though just trying to maintain a positive outlook doesn't seem to have helped so far. Anyway, I've got a few things to do on my DFS before tomorrow's submission, and I need to decompress a little before I can get to it, so I'm off. Peace out.

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